oh you made me feel terrible things. cut up, violent things. things i threw up or held down or cried out or sucked in. things i couldn’t write out, things that wouldn’t stay in, things that ruined me.
but you made me feel stupid. foolish. like. i’ve dealt with the worst things. but i can’t scrub out all that god i knew better didn’t i from the seams of me. i never want to feel like that again. like an idiot. like it’s my fault for being dumb. i should have known this would happen.
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