How I Teach Men Not To Talk Over Me: from one feminist to another, when basic respect is lagging and conversations are impossible
I’ve done this to several men, and they catch on rather quickly. You’ll be able to have a conversation right then and there, and it works long term too – they might’ve forgot their manners by the time you talk to them again, but by repeating this, they’ll eventually learn to let you talk without you having to do this at the start of every convo. Source: I have a very stubborn older brother, who eventually learned too.
1. When they interrupt you, stop talking. Don’t try to raise your voice or battle them. Be completely quiet and wait.
2. Ignore everythingthey’re saying. Do not actually listen – just wait until they shut up. Don’t make a point of anything they say, do not answer to anything they say, do not refer to anything they say here. Literally do not listen a single word. Let them rant as long as they want.
3. When they finally shut up and wait for your reaction, say: ”I wasn’t done talking.”
4. Start over whatever you were saying when they interrupted you. I don’t care if it was a 10-minute explanation of rocket science. Start. Over. Repeat you original thought, but do not add anything related to what they just said while talking over you. That gives them the idea that it’s okay to interrupt you, you’ll still listen and pay attention and they’ll get their point clear without having to listen to yours. (It’s especially funny when you get done and they expect you to keep going talking about whatever they talked over you. The face when it sinks in that you didn’t listen a single word is glorious.)
5. If they interrupt you again, return to step 1. If you find yourself repeating the cycle over 3 times, tell them: ”you’re not letting me speak. Either you listen and wait for your turn, or our conversation ends here.” If they try to make excuses, laugh it off or keep interrupting, end the conversation. Prove them that if they wont let you speak, they’re not worth your time.
Why does this work? First, because sometimes talking over is internalized and men don’t actually notice they’re doing it. Being vocally called out makes them realize it and pay attention to it – especially if it happens more than once. Secondly, by refusing to aknowledge anything they say when they interrupt you, they’ll soon realize they will not get their own point across if they keep doing that. Peoole and especially men have the need to be heard and paid attention to when they talk – when you make it clear that by talking over you, they will not have your attention, they’ll learn to wait until you’re done, because they know that’s when you will be paying attention and actually listening.
Go my darlings. Have some actual conversations where your point of view is just as valid as his. Demand the basic respect of being heard. You can actually have some interesting conversations with men when they’re forced to listen too, when being louder is not going to make them feel like they’re dominating the conversation or winning the argument.
like that sounds intuitive and vague but so much of the day is spent in a period of wait and if you struggle to motivate yourself to do things then this is the best time
waiting for your water to boil? bag up your garbage. waiting for your coffee to drip? wipe down your counters. roommate taking up the bathroom? scoop the cat box. waiting for your food to cook in the microwave? do however many dishes you can while it’s in there.
waiting is the perfect time to do a limited amount of something for yourself where you would be otherwise just standing around doing fuck-all
THIS IS REALLY HELPFUL!
I actually turn this into a game!
“How many chores can I do while the water is boiling for my tea?”
“Can I put away the dishes and wipe the counters before my lunch finishes reheating?”
“Can I sweep the floor AND change the laundry while the dogs are out back?”
You can totally do this! If you make it like a game, also, you will get better at it, and you can be like ‘yes, now I put away the dishes AND wiped out the sink before my water boiled, I am a level 2 Adult!’
This is the REALEST, SERIOUSLY.
The tip is real, please do yourself a favor and use it.
I put every stupid little thing I need to do on my to-dos on the app Habitica and literally make a game out of it. Plus, I don’t have to remember what it is that needs doing, I can just check my list.
This is a 3-part series on marketing yourself in the furry fandom, each part will be released on Sunday this July, this is the first part of the 3-part series – enjoy!
Introduction
I’ve been a business person for a number of years now. Before I went into business for myself, I worked in the hotel industry, it took some time before I decided to become self-employed. That background in being able to sell something (a hotel room or a place to visit, or a piece of artwork or a fursuit costume) has helped me get where I am today when it comes to marketing my work to a fandom audience. I am a self-supporting artist, that is to say, I do not have a 2nd job or another person to support me, but rather my income from the things I create supports me fully in life. Sometimes you see that written as “full time”, but my hours definitely vary.
It never was my dream in life to be a self-supporting artist, but it has definitely been a long-term hobby turned fun business to be involved with. When I finally decided to go into business for myself, I made sure I was already in a good spot. I worked by saving up money at my job, I had my debt paid off, and I had money in my savings account so I could buy supplies for my business without worry. I also did not start with a blank slate and practiced while I worked my previous jobs– I concurrently illustrated and made costumes for myself on the side after work, and my hobby revolved around the sort of things I shared as tutorials on my website. I really tried to be prepared when I got started, and did not dive into taking custom work right away (saying “no” to people who want to give you money is a difficult thing that I’ll talk about more in this article). I dipped my toes into things while I had a stable primary job to build up my repertoire and worked on the projects that excited me. It took me a long time to be ready to take custom work for other people.
In my years building up my business I learned a lot of things, and while these things worked for me, it may be different for others, but I do hope this article helps offer clarity for those looking to get into selling their work in the furry fandom.
Getting Started
Presenting yourself online is a big part of your image, especially when it come to how your audience sees your work. Sign up for all the social media websites you are comfortable maintaining and maintain a username consistent throughout those sites so your audience can recognize you between spaces. If you are an illustrator or artist, posting frequently is key. The more often people see your work, the more they will recognize you. You will build an audience slowly but surely this way.
When it comes to picking a business name, keep it simple. I kept my business name the same as my username and website URL (Matrices.net) so people could find and easily associate my website with me, and me with my website. Name association is more important than you may think, since it takes effort to build your audience back up under a new name.
Pricing
Look over my article on pricing, You can find that article to read here: http://matrices.tumblr.com/post/138592633528/article-timing-and-pricing The most important takeaway is: Keep track of the time you spend working and don’t price below minimum wage in your region – you can work any number of less-specialized jobs for the same amount of money. I want to make it clear: The furry fandom exclusively deals in luxury items that are often custom made, artists and creators deserve to be paid fairly for such specialized effort.
You are just not benefiting yourself or your audience by undercharging. If you wish to sell to an audience like the furry fandom, get comfortable pricing your work at a fair price to you. Undercharging breeds an environment where clients are conditioned to expect too much from low-priced work. Not only does this not benefit you as the artist, but it doesn’t benefit the market as a whole because it is unsustainable in the long run. Burnout is a real issue and seriously affects artists who overwork themselves for low wages. The furry fandom is a place where “if you build it, they will come” is still a valid mantra, if you aren’t finding an audience you need to either practice and hone your craft more, or expand where you market yourself. I talk more about advertising tactics later in part 2 of this series.
What if I get complaints on my prices? Learn who your clients are. Ask yourself – Are those people truly clients you want? I don’t want a client who is going to doubt my pricing or second guess me on my work, I want a client who will admire and respect the work I do. You will receive a lot of critique on your pricing often from people who are not clients you want, find the audience who can respect the effort you put in your work.
What it comes down to is the question of who is best to take pricing advice from. If you are timing yourself and deciding a fair wage for your efforts, it’s a question that is already answered. However, there are always going to be people in your life who want to guide your decisions for different reasons. Among them are: Your friends – they are good to stick ideas to, but aren’t always going to be the buyers of your work. Your family – often they are either supporters or doubters, not always the best for price sense within the furry fandom, however. Your colleagues are good to take advice from, people in the same industry (those actively selling art or costumes in the furry fandom). Ultimately be choosy on who you take advice from, with a grain of salt so-to-speak. If you are seeking advice, find it from those who also work as self-supporting artists – while part timers who have something or someone else to support them may still offer decent advice, it is other colleagues who are self-supporting and live off their work that are the best to take advice from.
i hope youre all lying and hyping your cv/resume’s up
i have never gotten an interview and not been offered a job position after it
I mean lets be honest if everyone else is gassing theirs up like no tomorrow and you’re being as honest as you can who th are the recruitment team going to be more interested in
There’s people working in my banks head office with me WITH MUCH MORE EXPERIENCE than me BUT ARE GETTING PAID LESS
we’re doing the exact same job role
the point I’m trying to make here is if you’ve handled finances for a company you’re now what i would call a treasurer my g, if you’ve done admin work you are now a secretary (or as I’ve put Management secretary)
you help some kid with his homework? you’re a private tutor.
keep your bullets points for the job role as concise and important sounding as possible AND ALWAYS EMPHASIS THAT YOURE A TEAM PLAYER IF YOURE GOING TO WORK IN A TEAM.
go into that interview room and get your story straight the night before and remember that interviews are two way conversatons yes they might be grilling you but at the end of it make sure to grill them BACK. do you have any hesitations about my qualifications? my suitability for the job? any feedback on my cv? how long have you been working at this company? do you like it here? whats the work environment like?
I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS GET THE SAME FEEDBACK WHEN THEY GET BACK IN TOUCH WITH ME
“ive never been asked those questions before” / “you were one of the strongest candidates”
throughout the interview emphasise that youre about progression, that you want more responsibilities than you did at your previous job, tell them the hours here are more suitable for me than my last ones were, AND WHEN IT COMES TO SALARY NEGOTIATION its all about continuity. tell them again that it boils down to progression. make up a reasonable figure for how much you were paid in your last role (do your research for how much the industry youre applying to or the role youre applying for pays, base it on that) tell them you expect more than you were previously paid. do not give them a figure. progression is your primary focus, tell them if youre progressing youre happy. leave it at that.
LIE THROUGH YOUR TEETH AND GET THAT MONEY
I had an interview yesterday, at the place I’ve been temping, where I busted out the “is there anything about my skills or background that makes you concerned about my fit for this job” question for the first time.
Neither of my supervisors had never gotten it before either. They had to think for a while, and then it turned into them telling me how great I am and what they love about me.
This stuff is real. I would also say: none of it is lying. This is taking experience that you normally downplay and write off, and putting it in accurate words they’ll understand.
It’s hacking the capitalist system. Why ISN’T helping a kid with homework “tutoring”, when the only thing missing is a paycheck?
It’s especially important for anyone who isn’t a cis white man, because many of us are so thoroughly trained to feel like we are not good enough.
Privilege tells people they can fake it, and that they’re good enough just as people and can learn the skills on the job. Abuse and oppression tell people they aren’t good enough as people and that even their high skills are probably below average, and that unless they had the specific job title or were using certain skills officially, nobody will think it counts.
The goal is to at least fake the confidence of a privileged person, to give the employer a chance at seeing the skills that you’ve been trained to undervalue.
I would also say to answer any query of “Have you done [X small task] before?” with “I have, but it’s been a while.” Or, “I have, but it was a slightly different program.”
100% THEY WILL GLADLY WALK YOU THROUGH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO KNOW, and I stress ‘gladly’ because claiming prior knowledge boosts their confidence in your abilities and any slips you make are already covered by your caveat.
blackstoic may have deactivated their account but this advice is fucking gold and all y’all looking for jobs or who think you might one day need to look for a new job PRINT THIS SHIT OUT AND STAPLE IT TO THE WALL.
things english speakers know, but don’t know we know.
WOAH WHAT?
That is profound. I noticed this by accident when asked about adjectives by a Japanese student. She translated something from Japanese like “Brown big cat” and I corrected her. When she asked me why, I bluescreened.
Okay so in astrology you have two polarities. These aremasculine (extroverted, direct, and energetic) and feminine (introverted, receptive, and magnetic).
Four Elements, it’s just like Avatar guys.
The four elements are, Fire, Earth, Air, and Water. Fire and Air are opposite and masculine elements while Earth and Water are opposite and feminine elements.
Fire is will and passion.
Earth is physical and stable.
Air is logical and social.
Water is emotion and intuition.
If Fire had a consciousness it would see the world as fuel and not fuel. In the same way, I think the fire signs Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius, see the world as their very own playground and they look for what stimulates them the most. They all have an insatiable appetite for life that’s in constant need to be satisfied, be it discovery, expression, or transcendence.
If Earth had a consciousness it would see the world as what it truly is and what they can bring to it. I see the earth signs Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn as always giving a part of themselves to provide stability to the world, be it wealth, perfection, or professionalism
If Air had a consciousness it would see the world as a barren place devoid of interaction and detachment. I believe the air signs Gemini, Libra and Aquarius are always on the prowl for fulfillment. They strive for something that will stimulate them, be it knowledge, collaboration, or progression.
If Water had a consciousness it would try to envelop the world and everything in it. The water signs Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces are always trying to lose themselves in someway, always looking for something to immerse themselves in, be it home, transformation, or the subconscious.
Modalities? That seems like a made-up word. Fake News
So you know the elements, you know their polarity, so what else can there be? Modalities, my friends, are essentially the quality of the element. All elements come in three types:
Cardinal– The element in its purest form. These are the self starters, leaders, and initiators (Aries, Cancer, Libra, and Capricorn)
Fixed– The element at its most condensed and stable form. They are stubborn, unyielding, and basically the ones that finish what the Cardinal starts. (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, and Aquarius)
Mutable– The element at its most fluid and free. They are adaptable, flexible, and versatile. (Gemini, Virgo, Sagittarius, and Pisces)
Now that we know how the signs are all divided, we can classify them!! 😀 ARIES Masculine/Fire/Cardinal TAURUS Feminine/Earth/Fixed GEMINI Masculine/Air/Mutable CANCER Feminine/Water/Cardinal LEO Masculine/Fire/Fixed VIRGO Feminine/Earth/Mutable LIBRA Masculine/Air/Cardinal SCORPIO Feminine/Water/Fixed SAGITTARIUS Masculine/Fire/Mutable CAPRICORN Feminine/Earth/Cardinal AQUARIUS Masculine/Air/Fixed PISCES Feminine/Water/Mutable
So you’re saying there’s an entire solar system that explains why I have such a shitty unique personality?
Yes, yes there is. You can use a variety of sites to find your natal chart but for just starting off I prefer to use https://alabe.com/freechart/ . It’s really user friendly and gives you a brief description of each placement, though it doesn’t show retrogrades. (FYI you need your birthday and time, along with the location of your birth) But we’re keeping this basic here, anyway, upon entering your info you’ll notice that each planet in our solar system has a sign and its degree assigned to it. Take this for example, my mom’s chart, or a glimpse of it.
So if you’re new to astrology and you’re confused on what planets mean what, this is your section.
Luminaries vs Planets
The Sun and Moon are luminaries, the brightest and most important objects in the sky. The Planets are planets (lol duh) The North Node is a mathematical point relating the Sun, Earth, and Moon at the specific time
Now that that’s cleared up continue reading for an interpretation of each heavenly body and what they mean when it comes to you
SUN– Ego, the divine representation of life, the head honcho of the chart, the “adult” that censors the “inner child”, you at you’re most basic level, our vitality, it is reason as opposed to instinct, can also represent the father
MOON– Unconscious, while the Sun acts the Moon reacts, our deepest personal needs, the inner child and inner mother, how we nurture and how we like to be nurtured, your immediate instincts, can also represent the mother (it is common for people to relate more to the Moon more seeing as it’s our deepest and purest self)
MERCURY– planet of communication, thought processes, ideas, how we analyze a situation, the logical mind and mental faculties
VENUS– planet of love, grace, charm, and beauty. Our artistic inclinations, Venusian energy is harmonious in nature. What we look for in love, what type of relationships we like and which ones are good for us, how we love, how we act with friends, it also represents both love and money
MARS– the planet of energy, action, and desire. You at your most primal, what you’re like when someone eats the last toaster strudel, your assertive and dominant self, this planet is all about action, your drive and work ethic, what you’re like in bed
JUPITER– the planet of expansion. Closely associated with good luck. Your spiritual and mental growth, what you overindulge in, optimism, mercy, and humor
SATURN– the planet of limits and restrictions. Where Jupiter expands, Saturn constricts. what values and disciplines were you raised with, what are your boundaries and responsibilities. Associated with delayed satisfaction and personal tests also the father or dominant parental figure.
URANUS– the planet of revolution and innovation. The higher octave of Mercury, progression, enlightenment, rebellion, and individuality are central themes of this planet.
NEPTUNE– the planet of dreams, confusion, self deception, psychic receptivity, and spirituality. The higher octave of Venus. Sensitivity, disillusionment, and compassion are central themes of this planet.
PLUTO– the planet of death, rebirth, our “dark side”, and transformation. The higher octave of Mars. Self destruction, power struggles, paranoia, trauma, inner demons, and upheaval or major themes of this planet (it’s still a planet don’t @ me)
So who rules what, again?
Each sign has planet or luminary that is considered its ruler. The rulers of these signs give further insight to the complex personality archetypes. You’ll notice that some planets have two rulers, we call those corulers and since the planet is always coruled by a feminine and masculine sign they represent different expressions of that planet. Feminine “Night”= inward Masculine “Day” = outward When a planet is in the sign that rules it, the planet is in its “home”
or domicile where the values of this planet are easily and clearly
expressed, however, if a planet falls into its ruler’s opposite sign
these values aren’t easily expressed and is considered an uncomfortable
position for the planet to be in, therefore, the planet becomes debilitated and very weak, this is the planet in detriment. (PSA NO PLACEMENT IS A “BAD PLACEMENT”. THERE ARE NO GOOD OR BAD PLACEMENTS IN ASTROLOGY, IT JUST IS WHAT IT IS) Here are the rulers (Domicile // Detriment) SUN Leo // Aquarius
Planets also have two other dignities, exaltation and fall. While a planet in its domicile is at home, a planet in its exaltation is, to me, in a palace. While the energies of the domicile planet are clearly expressed, the exaltation refines the overall qualities of the planet and expresses that energy at its best and most
efficient. A planet’s fall however, is very different, here the overall nature of the planet is muted and overwhelmed by the sign whose core traits oppose that planet’s nature. I picture this as someone who lied about their skills on their resume, and, because of this, their manager throws them immediately into the midst of a rather complicated project. The person clearly doesn’t have the skills to accurately perform the job and thus struggle is born. Keep in mind that while detriment and fall may not be the best places for a planet to be in, these placements can show the hidden parts of a planet that’s not typically expressed, and, in a developed placement, add more depth to it. These additional dignities add even more insight to the signs. Here are the additional dignities (Exaltation // Fall) SUN Aries // Libra
MOON Taurus // Scorpio
MERCURY Virgo // Pisces (though there is much debate with this but I believe that Mercury’s exaltation is Virgo mostly because Cherry from astrolocherry says so and she’s the tumblr goddess of Astrology)
VENUS Pisces // Virgo
MARS Capricorn // Cancer
JUPITER Cancer // Capricorn
SATURN Libra // Aries
URANUS Scorpio // Taurus
NEPTUNE Leo // Aquarius
PLUTO Heavily debated among astrologers so almost all info is conflicting
Planets that fall into signs that are not in their domicile, detriment, fall, or exaltation (ie Scorpio Mercury, Pisces Mars, Aries moon, etc) are said to be in peregrine. I see this as being fairly neutral, showcasing different aspects of the planet, but some astrologers consider this a small form of debilitation.
Think of the signs as 12 roommates who are all pretty basic and cliché
With all the basic info we now know of the signs we can go into depth about the qualities of each archetype. We will be more able to fully understand the internal workings of each sign and why they act the way they do.
ARIES Aries is a fire sign, and with this element, their energy is extroverted and direct. Fire is the element of passion and will, the modality of this sign is cardinal so they have innate leadership and initiating qualities. Aries is cardinal in the way that their independent nature and high level of energy can be a catalyst that drives and motivates all those around them, along with their being the first sign of the zodiac. Being the day ruler of Mars combined with its element and modality, Aries is impulsive, aggressive, head strong, and passionate. The Sun exalts in Aries, so the fire seen around them is a true reflection the one that burns within. They are direct and honest. However, Venus is in detriment when ruled by Aries, showing that their aggression and passion can get in their own way when trying to establish a partnership with another person. Fiercely independent, Arians love the chase of love but the actual substance can be seen as unfavorable being that this sign does not want to be tied down. Saturn is at its fall in Aries as well, demonstrating their foolhardy approach at life, often burning bridges, and acting too impulsively without pondering the consequences of their actions.
TAURUS Taurus is an earth sign, and with this element, their energy is introverted and receptive. Earth is the element of the physical, material, and stable, and the modality of this sign is fixed so they have strong wills, determination, and unchanging qualities. Taurus is fixed due to its incredibly slow momentum, Taurus doesn’t charge ahead and take initiative like Aries, but rather slows down to enjoy the finer details. Being the ruler of the night expression of Venus combined with its element and modality, Taurus is materialistic, sensual, stubborn, and loyal. The Moon exalts in Taurus, so we can see person who is a firm lover of the comforts of life and whose emotional nature remains constant. This person is warm and down to earth. However, Mars is in detriment when ruled by Taurus, their slow and patient nature is at odds with this aggressive, expressive, and vibrant planet. Taureans, and the other earth signs, have the tendency to rationalize and suppress their emotions however this trait is exacerbated with this placement, they will suppress their internal aggression until it explodes in a fantastic way. These traits are then coupled by Taurus being Pluto’s, the higher octave of Mars, detriment. Pluto is the planet of upheaval and transformation while Taurus is the sign of stability and internal security. In my opinion, Taurus, being an earth sign, is the most fixed of all the other fixed signs, so they and the themes of transformation do no mix well. Uranus is at its fall in Taurus demonstrating this sign’s tendency to prefer to maintain the status quo than to delve deeper into the more taboo and immaterial concepts.
GEMINI Gemini is an air sign, and with this element, their energy is extroverted and direct. Air is the element of logic and communication, the modality of this sign is mutable so they have adaptive and versatile qualities. Gemini’s mutability comes from the nature of communication itself. A conversation needs two parts, with each side bringing new information and knowledge to the table, the mind of Gemini works in the very same way. Communication is always changing and knowledge is always in fluctuation due to new levels of understanding, so the sign of communication should have adaptive traits for acclimating themselves to the steady flow of new knowledge and the multifaceted nature to deal with the duality, even plurality, of communication. Being the day ruler of Mercury, Gemini is all about opinions, communication, and logic, they constantly oscillate from a euphoric high to melancholic lows, however each mood never lasts long. Gemini has high levels of mercunian (it’s actually a world lol) energy that gives them the attention span of an eternal child. They have a habit of quickly jumping from topic to topic, minute detail to detail, all in one breath. Their attention to detail is so strong that they even have the tendency to unconsciously mimic those they come into contact with, another trait of their mutability. Jupiter is in detriment when ruled by Gemini, showing their inability to grasp the bigger picture at times. Gemini is too concerned with the individual strokes of a paint brush than to step back and take a look at the beautiful masterpiece. The complexities of religion and philosophy are difficult for Gemini to understand for they live in the world of logic and the tangible.
CANCER Cancer is a water sign, and with this element, their energy is introverted and receptive. Water is the element of emotion and intuition, the modality of this sign is cardinal so they have innate leadership and initiating qualities. Cancer is cardinal because they take their emotions into account first and foremost, and with being this emotionally free they take into account the needs of others and nurture them. Being the true ruler of the Moon, Cancer is nurturing and empathetic. Their strong compassion and sensitivity is naturally maternal. Cancer is the ultimate mother in my eyes, warm and soft in nature but mess with her babies you get her unbreakable shell and piercing pincers. They are also the expression of the inner child, given that what Cancer seeks most is a comfortable place to call home. I always think of Cancer as the child that clings to their mother before leaving her side for the first day of school, in much the same way they cling to those they love with an almost suffocating embrace of need and devotion. Exaggeration and overabundance are also the traits that are held by the planet that Cancer exalts, Jupiter. Their emotional nature is just as exaggerated and overemphasized as Jupiter, Cancer is a benefactor that gives and gives and rains the gifts of family, compassion, and deep commitment. Saturn is in detriment with this sign showcasing Cancer’s unfortunate tendency to display and act with only their emotions as their guide and justification. They lack the ability to put their emotions to the side to do what is needed and logical because they feel everything so deeply. This also shows their inability to function when the going gets hard for them, their inability to process hardships without resorting to the whole “woe is me” rhetoric in their underdeveloped state. Mars in Cancer is at its fall, their ability to be assertive is completely hindered by their emotional reactivity causing massive and unpredictable explosions and lashing outs. Cancer, even as a water sign, loses its manipulative edge in this planet due to its extreme moodiness and overall temporary passive aggressiveness that will quickly turn into explosive outbursts, however they remain fiercely loyal to loved ones and will fight to the death for them.
LEO Leo is a fire sign, and with this element, their energy is extroverted and direct. Fire is the element of passion and will, the modality of this sign is fixed so they have strong wills, determination. and unchanging qualities. Leo is fixed in their own pride, their ego simply refuses to allow them to compromise. Being the sol (I made a pun lmao) ruler of the Sun, Leo exudes warmth and passion. They are filled with light and much like how the Sun remains in center of our solar system, Leo desires to remain in the center of their personal world. Neptune is exalted in Leo, so they are among the most creative and artistic of the signs, looking at this rulership compared with their relation to the Sun, demonstrates their need to showcase their talents and creativity to the world, they are true performers. Neptune also shows the capacity for compassion, generosity, and kindness that this sign can demonstrate when developed. Uranus is in detriment in Leo, the self centered approach to life is at complete odds with Uranus’ energy being the focus on groups and coalitions. Their compassion and generosity can be completely overwhelmed by their need to be praised and in the spot light. Saturn is also in detriment with this sign, I interpret this as a trapped ego, Leo’s energy comes from the heart (they rule the heart) and when its in such a rigid and cold planet, this energy can become disillusioned and suppressed. Thus creating a disconnect, their ego is fortified and structured, but their expression of the warmer qualities of this sign are nullified; making them come off as standoffish, aloof, and arrogant.
VIRGO Virgo is an earth sign, and with this element, their energy is introverted and receptive. Earth is the element of the physical, material, and stable, the modality of this sign is mutable so they have adaptive and versatile qualities. Virgo is mutable in regards to their adaptive nature, always seeking to perfect themselves, they take on the traits that will help them reach their goals. Being the sign that both rules Mercury and is its exaltation, Virgo is obsessed with the minute details of all that fall under their critical eye. They are the night expression of Mercury, so while they are not as communicative and inquisitive as Gemini, they are hardworking, since Mercury rules day to day routines, and seek perfection and efficiency in everything they do. Highly intelligent and analytical Virgos have the confidence that their way is the best way. Jupiter and Neptune are in detriment when ruled by Virgo, this shows their inabilities to think in the abstract. With Jupiter, Virgo lacks the ability to think outside the box, and are limited to their very own sense of routine. They refuse to experience the variety and unpredictability of life. With Neptune, Virgo’s need to think rationally and objectively leave them at a lost when it comes to the more lateral and emotional side of communication, leaving them to be very oblivious to the emotional impact their words have on others. Venus is fallen with Virgo as its ruler, this is where the maiden and the sign of service archetypes come in, Virgo often rejects the dreaminess and romanticism of love and instead show the depth of their affection through service. To them, the truest form of love is not through pretty words but what you do for them, solely for their comfort. Their rejection of Venus’ sensuality is why they are often painted as the maiden, the purity of their love is entirely giving, making them much like their sister sign, Pisces, in regards to losing themselves for the ones they love and adore.
LIBRA Libra is an air sign, and with this element, their energy is extroverted and direct. Air is the element of logic and communication, the modality of this sign is cardinal so they have innate leadership and initiating qualities. Libra is cardinal in the sense that they actively seek out partnerships and collaborations with other people, they actively communicate between varying groups of people often in need to find balance between one another. Being the day ruler of Venus, Libra oozes charm and grace. Their social aptitude is unparalleled by others. This Venusian influence also shows in Libra’s continuing search for partnership and love. They love the security relationships brings and their partner often brings balance to their zany life. Saturn is exalted in Libra showing their strong talents at compromise and finding the middleman, they are always harmonious and so well understanding of the need for justice and fairness that they often give more than they take, thus becoming the biggest hypocrite of the zodiac by not being fair to themselves. Mars is in detriment due to Libra’s strong preferences towards peace rather than aggression and domination. Mars’ violent nature is forever at odds with their need for harmony and understanding. The sun is at its fall in Libra as well emphasizing their overly compromising nature. How can the ego be recognized and praised when it spends so much time changing itself to fit the narratives of other people’s lives?
SCORPIO Scorpio is a water sign, and with this element, their energy is introverted and receptive. Water is the element of emotion and intuition, the modality of this sign is fixed so they have strong wills, determination, and unchanging qualities. Scorpio is fixed in regards to their own emotions. They feel deeply and intensely for everything and because of the extreme depth of their emotion they become unmovable and fixated. Most people assume Scorpio isn’t as emotional as their watery cousins, Cancer and Pisces, because of the plutonian and martian influence that clouds their ability to express themselves, but out of the zodiac, I see Scorpio as being the most emotional. Imagine the strength and depth of feeling it would take to become so fixed based off of something as fluid and changing as emotion. Being the night ruler of Mars, the battles waged by this planet are fought inwards. Scorpio is always in a state of battle internally, they fight their personal demons along with the dark skeletons of their past selves. The martian influence of this water sign makes them guarded and closed off from others, crouching and waiting for the battle felt inwards to be seen on the outside. Mars loses its impulsiveness and excess energy in this sign and is instead traded in for cunning and manipulation, the scorpion is a retaliatory creature and only seeks vengeance when attacked. Pluto adds into this sign the themes of death and transformation, which are Scorpio’s key words. Emotionally sensitive to others, the sting of Scorpio is their deadly intuition and empathy which they use to hit where it hurts the most. Venus is detriment in this sign, the plutonian influence adds paranoia and the need for control while Mars adds in haughtiness and aggression. The love of Scorpio is filled with paranoia due to their fear of being vulnerable and hurt, they desire all of you while giving you very little of themselves, you are theirs while they refuse to call themselves yours. The Moon is fallen in Scorpio due to their intense nature and emotional isolation, instead of expressing their feelings, a lunar Scorpio will suppress them until a massive explosion, a lot like a Cancer Mars but more destructive. The overall nurturing nature of this luminary is drowned out by the war cry of Mars and Pluto’s vindictive streak.
SAGITTARIUS Sagittarius is a fire sign, and with this element, their energy is extroverted and direct. Fire is the element of passion and will, the modality of this sign is mutable so they have adaptive and versatile qualities. Sagittarius is mutable in regards to their need for a constant change in scenery, mindsets, and philosophy. Being the day ruler of Jupiter, Sagittarians are naturally gregarious and wise. They like to expand their horizons, always on the prowl for something new, and always on the search for enlightenment. They seek the truth first and foremost and have no qualms with expressing it to all those with a lent ear. Sagittarius represents higher thought and religion, they often feel that their opinions are divine and prophetic in nature, Jupiter also expands upon their fiery and energetic nature. They like the experience of life but not necessarily the prices that come with it. They despise being owned and controlled and desire to live life only on their terms. Mercury is in detriment with Sagittarius showcasing the whole cliche of having ones’s head “stuck in the clouds”. They are too busy considering the grandiose that they often forget that it is the combination of the smaller details that form the bigger picture. Their own innate sense of morality and their complete disregard for social niceties such as “white lies”, often being frank and direct, is in complete opposition to the typical conversation held by people. They think too deeply for the small details Mercury rules over.
CAPRICORN Capricorn is an earth sign, and with this element, their energy is introverted and receptive. Earth is the element of the physical, material and stable, and the modality of this sign is cardinal so they have innate leadership and initiating qualities. Capricorn’s cardinality comes from the being the personification of ambition itself. Being the night ruler of Saturn, Capricorn’s internal strength and regulation is beyond compare. Their ambition, work ethic, and drive are damn near the strongest indicators of success. They are powerful and obsessed with how their image is projected to others. They seek to project the image of success and legacy and if given the option to be the people pleaser as well, they would choose it to add to their numerous titles, but it is still of little importance to them. Mars is exalted in Capricorn showing their ability to separate emotion and passion from logic and gain and from there being able to channel the former into their unending reserve of energy to achieve their goals. Wise and practical, it takes a lot to throw them off their mechanical and methodical rise in power. However, just because Capricorn is quite adept at channeling their emotions towards professional success doesn’t mean they lack in other areas. The Moon is in detriment with this sign. Capricorn’s cold nature is completely out of place in the Moon’s warm, comfortable, and fluid domain. Emotions are always in a state of suppression and they try to use logic to dilute and deal with their emotions. High expectations of them may have caused them to blot out this crucial part of their personality. This can also be seen in Capricorn’s standard association with them being unconcerned with the feelings of others as they step on them to climb the ladder of success. Jupiter is fallen with this sign as well showing their deep cynicism regarding luck and gifts, they believe hard work is the only way to succeed and that nothing in life is free. Extremely traditional, they have a strong distrust for the new innovation of life preferring the tried and true methods.
AQUARIUS Aquarius is an air sign, and with this element, their energy is extroverted and direct . Air is the element of logic and communication, the modality of this sign is fixed so they have strong wills, determination, and unchanging qualities. Aquarians are fixed in their own intellect and refuse to compromise themselves and what they believe in. Being the ruler of Uranus, the ideas and intellect of Aquarius transcends the self and affects the world and everyone around them, Their intuition is strong and their love for progress and equality, unmatched. They idealize themselves and see their way as the best way. Often rebelling and causing instability so a newer and better stability can take form, thus showing their corulership with Saturn. One must acknowledge the old and traditional to improve upon it and expand for the future. We can’t learn if we have nothing to learn from. Aquarius understands the need for rules and structure, but also understands that a rule needs to be broken or changed when it no longer applies, they are the humanitarians of the signs and advocate for all. The Sun is in detriment in Aquarius giving us insight as to why they are so rebellious, the fragility of their ego is in desperate need for recognition. They make up for their lack of self identity by, taking a page out of Leo’s book, creating a larger than life persona that is unique and unlike everybody else in every way. Their disgust for conformity can be seen in Neptune’s fall. Neptune is the planet of the collective consciousness and they see themselves as too unique and revolutionary to be grouped with the not-so-innovative minds of others. They often form their larger than life plans without taking into account the needs and feelings of others, their independent nature and refusal to submit to others ironically manifests itself in the need for others to submit to them. Their empathy only takes them so far before they ditch the rest of us and head for the stars.
PISCES Pisces is a water sign, and with this element, their energy is introverted and receptive. Water is the element of emotion and intuition, the modality of this sign is mutable so they have adaptive and versatile qualities. Pisces is mutable in regards to their own fluidity, water is naturally a liquid element so in mutable Pisces, their receptivity is unmatched. Like actual water they flow and take the shape of any environment they’re in. Being the ruler of Neptune, Pisces represents universal empathy and compassion. As a water sign, Pisces operates through the medium of emotions, they are essentially sponges to the emotions of others. Extremely sensitive and kind, Pisceans are prone to being self deceptive and elusive, another embodiment of Neptune. Neptune represents dreams, the imagination, and spirituality which is why Pisces, to me, is the most psychic of the signs. Pisces is the sign of self undoing and destruction, their receptivity combined with their nature to lose themselves to the emotions of others are the main causes of this, they are essentially lil cinnamon rolls that must be protected at all costs. They are also the night expression of Jupiter showing they all have a strong desire and capability to transcend the spiritual barriers of man. Jupiter’s expanding energy being channeled so inwardly amplifies the qualities of Neptune which leads to them having an incredible mind and fertile imagination, often day dreaming and retreating from the real world. They need their isolation because their incredibly receptive nature often subjects them to the whims of others leaving them unable to explore and live for themselves. Venus exalts in Pisces, showcasing their sacrificial nature and overall dreaminess and idealizations of love and romance. Their kindness and giving is often taken advantage of because their ego is so impressionable they often question their self value. Mercury at its detriment and fall with this sign, showing that their expansive inner mind can become a prison preventing them from assertively expressing themselves and their ideas. They can be easily ran over because of their demure nature and inability to stand up for themselves using logic and direct communication. However they make up for this in their extreme capabilities when it comes to manipulation, their soft spoken nature often makes them appear to be the victim even when they’re at fault.
Degrees Lives Matter!!
The main type of astrology practiced on tumblr is Tropical. In this type of astrology, the signs are oriented around the seasons, with the 1st degree of Aries being the Spring Equinox. The signs are then allotted 30 degrees which is basically 30 days for the sun to traverse through (360/30 = 12). As shown in the screen shot above, each planet and luminary gets a 30 degree association as well. Degrees are important because they show how the energy of the sign and planet are expressed. They also show how the planet will interact with the other heavenly bodies in your chart which we will cover in the next section. This section we will mostly discuss decans.
Decans are basically the breaking down and separation of a sign’s 30 degree segment into 10 degrees where the energies become altered by the other influences of this sign’s triplicity. That sounds pretty confusing, but it’s fairly straight forward. I’ll break down the key terms here:
Decans– Divide 30 by 3 and you get 10. Each 10 degree segment within these 30 degrees are a decan. 0-9, first decan, 10-19 second decan, and 20-29 third decan. Influences– Mainly the sign and the planet that it rules. Triplicity– Think 3, there are 3 signs per element. So basically the signs that have the same element as each other.
Here are all the decans ARIES First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest, Ruled by Mars & Aries Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees)
Ruled by Sun & Leo Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees)
Ruled by Jupiter & Sagittarius
TAURUS
First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest, Ruled by Venus & Taurus Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees) Ruled by Mercury & Virgo Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees) Ruled by Saturn & Capricorn
GEMINI
First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest, Ruled by Mercury & Gemini Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees) Ruled by Venus & Libra Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees)
Ruled by Uranus & Aquarius
CANCER
First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest, Ruled by Moon & Cancer Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees) Ruled by Pluto & Scorpio Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees) Ruled by Neptune & Pisces
LEO
First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest, Ruled by Sun & Leo
Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees) Ruled by Jupiter & Sagittarius
Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees)
Ruled by Mars & Aries
VIRGO
First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest, Ruled by Mercury & Virgo
Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees) Ruled by Saturn & Capricorn
Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees) Ruled by Venus & Taurus
LIBRA
First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest, Ruled by Venus & Libra
Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees)
Ruled by Uranus & Aquarius
Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees)
Ruled by Mercury & Gemini
SCORPIO
First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest, Ruled by Pluto & Scorpio
Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees)
Ruled by Neptune & Pisces
Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees)
Ruled by Moon & Cancer
SAGITTARIUS
First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest, Ruled by Jupiter & Sagittarius
Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees) Ruled by Mars & Aries
Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees) Ruled by Sun & Leo
CAPRICORN
First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest,
Ruled by Saturn & Capricorn
Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees) Ruled by Venus & Taurus
Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees)
Ruled by Mercury & Virgo
AQUARIUS First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest,
Ruled by Uranus & Aquarius
Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees) Ruled by Mercury & Gemini
Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees)
Ruled by Venus & Libra
PISCES First Decan (0 to 9 degrees) Purest,
Ruled by Neptune & Pisces Second Decan (10 to 19 degrees)
Ruled by Moon & Cancer Third Decan (20 to 29 degrees)
Ruled by Pluto & Scorpio
I’ll go more into depth about these influences in future posts, and decans apply to every planet, not just your sun sign 🙂 So go ahead and have fun y’all.
Critical Degrees vs Anaretic
Anaretic degrees are 0 and 29 for all signs, having a planet in one of these degrees means that decision making is a real problem for this facet of your personality. You could either overanalyze your choices to the point of a stalemate or rush right into making a critical choice, this can even happen after overanalyzing.
Critical degrees are different they represent the sensitive and the strengthening points of said planet and said sign. This planet and its energies tend to be emphasized in one’s life, the degrees vary between the modality of the sign but here ya go Cardinal (0, 13, 26) Fixed (8, 9, 21, 22) *Ya boy got his sun at 21 degrees Scorpio😆 Mutable (4 and 17)
Your Natal Chart is basically a community bbq where the planets can interact with each other
The degrees of your planets are important because they can show how these plants interact with one another, in this section I’ll list the requirements and definitions of the 5 basic astrological aspects
CONJUNCTION (0°) Same Polarity/Same Element/Same Modality In order to have a conjunction the planets or points must be within 10 degrees of each other. With a conjunction the energies of both planets become united and act as one. This is a fairly neutral aspect seeing as conjunctions between Jupiter and Venus can be positive while Saturn and Mars conjunctions can be more malefic. Energies between the planets are intensified and are always in unity which can create a blind spot seeing as it is extremely difficult for people to separate the planet’s distinct energies from one another. The closer the orb, the distance from one another, the more powerful the aspect. Sun/Mercury conjunctions are fairly common seeing as Mercury can never stray too far from the sun. My Moon (28° Capricorn) conjuncts Neptune (1° Aquarius) with an orb of 3°. Both my emotional sensitivity and vulnerabilities to others are emphasized through my heightened and sympathetic empathy.
SEXTILE (60°) Same Polarity/Different Element/Different Modality In order to have a sextile the two planets or points must be within 10 degrees of each other. Sextiles are a harmonious aspect and are a lot like trines, except the trine is so ingrained within the native’s psyche that it can be unconscious and dormant, while the Sextile is more present and has to be called upon for the native to use. The harmonious nature between these planet can be used consciously. My Moon (28°
Capricorn) and Mercury (25° Scorpio) are sextile with an orb of 3° Diplomacy and persuasion come easy to me as my logical and communicative mind have an insatiable curiosity and with the Moon’s strong sensitivity to the feelings of others, this allows me to aptly pick up on these cues to change my approach in regards to persuading them.
SQUARE (90°) Different Polarity/Different Element/Same Modality In order to have a square the two planets or points must be within 10 degrees of each other. Squares are a symbol of tension between these two planets, compromise and understanding are necessary to overcome these obstacles. Tension arise as a sort of conflict of interests between these bodies. My Sun (21° Scorpio) squares the Ascendant (24° Leo) with an orb of 3°
. I have the tendency to project myself as something I’m not, the amount of arrogance and standoffish I project to others is at conflict with my true private and emotional nature often leaving bad impressions when first meeting new people.
TRINE (120°) Same Polarity/Same Element/Different Modality In order to have a trine the two planets or points must be within 10 degrees of each other. Trines are highly harmonious and positive, the talents that come from this aspect are so natural that they are almost unconscious. My Moon (28° Capricorn) trines my Venus (5° Libra) with an orb of 7°. My kind, warm, and receptive nature has a habit of making many people feel comfortable and open up to me, regardless to whether that was my intention or not.
OPPOSITION (180°) Same Polarity/Different Element/Same Modality In order to have an opposition the two planets or points must be within 10 degrees of each other. Opposition are hard and difficult to live and function with, but they are not impossible to overcome. At times the native may feel as if they’re being pulled into two opposite direction often leaving them insecure and confused. Due to their lack of internal structure they seek for what they lack in relationships with others. My Sun (21° Scorpio) is in opposition with Saturn (13° Taurus) with an orb of -8°. I face difficulties with expressing and asserting myself. I often oscillate between an overaggressive and dominant extreme to an intense surrender of passivity. I must compromise between these two volatile expressions and meet in the middle.
You know how before I said the signs were roommates? Actually let’s pretend they live in a neighborhood where each one has their own house
Okay, so you guys know that weird circle thing that’s at the top of your screen whenever you put your birth chart info into a website? It has all the symbols of the signs going in a circle, and it looks like a pi chart with the occasional weird ass little glyphs splattered across the pie chart’s divisions? It often has multicolored and confusing lines connecting these glyphs together? That is your actual natal chart, and those little divisions are your houses. Y’all can take a look at mine for example.
Each section is a house and each house represents an area of your life and a part of your body. Each house is assigned a sign that rules over it, the houses are not energy!! They are the area in life where these energies are more likely to manifest.
The four most important houses are the 1st, 4th, 7th, and 10th houses and have the biggest impact on one’s life. These are known as the angular houses, and each house has a specific name, 1st is the Ascendant, 4th is the I.C., 7th is the Descendant, and the 10th is the M.C.
This picture right here covers the basics of your houses and their meanings, their natural rulers, the classifications of houses, and where they all lie.
I plan on going more into depth about each house in future posts. But amazing blogs such as astrollusion and leoasf have made amazing posts about the houses already. When talking about the houses you often here the term stellium get thrown around. A stellium is when you have 3 or more planets/luminaries in one house in a chart. The stellium has to consist of at least one personal planet (Sun, Moon, Mercury, Venus, or Mars). Where a stellium lies shows that this aspect of your life is illuminated and highly important and emphasized. As you can see in my chart I have a 4th house stellium in Scorpio (Sun, Mercury, and Pluto) and a 6th house stellium in Capricorn (Moon, Uranus, and Neptune). These are aspects of my life that are highly focused on.
Along with an area of life, the charts also represent parts of the body, here they are:
1st– Head, brain, face, eyes, and appearance.
2nd– Throat, neck, thyroid gland, and voice.
3rd– Arms, lungs, shoulders, hands, and nervous system.
4th– Chest, breasts, stomach, alimentary canal
5th– Heart, chest, spine, spinal column, upper back
6th– Digestive system, intestines, spleen, overall health, and nervous system
7th– Kidneys, skin, and lumbar region
8th– Reproductive system, sexual organs, bowels, and excretory system
A planet in a house represents a specific energy being brought to that part of your life. I’ll list what energies these planets can bring. (the first indent represents in aspects of life, while the second is in relation to the body):
SUN
I see it as the part of life where one truly feels alive, they feel the strongest and most in control here. Where we need to feel special and separate from others.
MOON
How we go about getting emotional comfort and satisfaction. Where deep personal attachments should be made, where we can find emotional fulfillment
MERCURY
Where the mind comes alive and is developed, where your thoughts were developed, where you apply your communicative and mental abilities
VENUS
Where you feel valued or where you look to feel values, where money can be gained, enhances beauty, charm, and the aesthetic of the body part or area of life. Where you look for love or where love can be found.
MARS
What makes you passionate, where you showcase your passions and aggression, your sexual life, where you are defensive and powerful.
JUPITER
Expansion, where you’ll grow spiritually and mentally. Where luck can be found
SATURN
Where you felt restricted, boundaries, failures, what will limit you, where your hard work will pay off in the long run, where you are restrained
URANUS
Where you strive to separate yourself from the group, where in life you seek individual freedom and expression. Where your eccentric and restless qualities take root
NEPTUNE
What lies hidden to you, spirituality, where the subconscious manifests, where addiction can take hold, where you overindulge (can be work, love, sex, etc)
PLUTO
Power struggles, trauma, darkness, rapid and complete change
It’s all up to you guys now…
I just want to take the time to thank you guys for baring with me through this outrageously long post. Please bare with me as this is my first new post in years. If you have info to add or suggestions please let me know. Astrology is subjective and always up to the intuition of others, however I hope you all appreciated my perspective and want more insights from me in the future. If you’d like to know the people who’s knowledge inspired me I implore you to check out these following blogs: ayyries astrolocherry ayat-the-aquarius astrollusion aquariusgod lulucute (just to name a few) None of them know who I am but they are by far some of the most informative and wise people on this site.
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