george: so she blocked me, and ya know bein the guy i am… im lookin through her blog… and shes been talkin’ crap about me! she wasnt mentioning me by name but i know EVERY little thing she posted after our breakup was directed at me!
jerry: how d’ya know it was you? it mighta been somebody else! maybe she’s got a brother that stiffed her!
george: i KNOW she was talking about me, jerry! i KNOW she was!
*kramer bursts in*
kramer: im a MILLIONARE, jerry! some bozo just sent me a message saying he’ll give me one hundred smackaroons each for pictures of my feet!
Tag: i love this
Honestly in all of these stories these poetic white men who somehow end up immortal get so bored and miserable because they just sit in their mansion all day doing whatever it is they need to do in order to sustain their immortality and then they just throw lavish parties and organize orgies or whatever and then they’re like “why am I sad I eat three course meals and have at least one orgy daily what MORE could I POSSIBLY need??”
Like???? Damn go for a walk. Do you even KNOW your neighbors? Get a dog and take it to the park. Set up an elaborate fish tank. Go skiing like you’ve been alive for 200 years and you’ve spent 180 of it in your house looking at paintings and drinking wine with other rich assholes no wonder ur life sucks my man.
Buy a canoe.
this post was specifically targeting dorian grey.
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