inkskinned:

It is a strange time to come back. The house is warm and you used to be excited. Now you’re tired. Just weary of even good things. When something is temporary like a holiday you learn not to hold onto it too tightly. You learn that the best thing is to be pleasantly surprised while bracing for the worst. So you never really get excited anymore. It’s a strange time to be alive and somehow feeling nothing. The absence always feels louder when you’re expecting happy. When it used to be good. When numbness didn’t overshadow everything in your reach. When stuff was still good.