Ok but who just reads silently? If it were me it would be:
Breathing, chuckle
Breathing, no, why?! Why are you so dumb, don’t even think about…
Breathing, of course you did
Breathing, squeal!!!
Breathing, omgomgomgomgomgomg
Not breathing
Gasping
The thudding of the book flying across the room
Sorry sorry, ok
Breathing
this is why tea drinkers need to be corralled into areas with no internet access
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