Actually, I think what’s going on is I used to approach things with a lot cynicism and righteousness and a secret satisfaction in a feeling of superiority-always ready to fight. For whatever reason, a lot of that has burned out of me when life beat me down and I’m more prone to wanting to understand, analyze, learn, have an open heart and mind. I want to focus on myself and getting better and doing what I can to help rather than trying to change others for now.
So even small things people do that remind me of that- even if they’re nothing like who I used to be- can tire me out because I remember what it used to be like and how I don’t want to be that anymore. Maybe that’s the key. I need to stop associating these things with who I was before all this, and let people have their own way of doing things. Instead, I have to continue to do what makes me feel better and try to be kind.
I’m the same way. I think it’s a change for the best and I also think it comes with age and maturity. I used to be on the offensive and aggressive about who I was and what I believed and in terms of policing people and being superior to people, but yeah, now I try not to snap to judgments, I try to give people more the benefit of the doubt. And yes, the focus on self-improvement.
I think it’s fair to be tired out or turned off by people who are like that, though. I think it’s also fair to avoid that kind of energy. I honestly think this position is an ultimately healthier one, because the other is just…a narrow view I guess? Like it requires less contemplation and understanding. But maybe I’m not being as even-handed as you are about it. I mean, there’s no stopping other people from acting how they act, but when they take it too far and hurt others… at that point it’s fair to be critical. I honestly think the culture on tumblr really promotes that kind of bellicose attitude, so it’s good to have it checked by reason every once in awhile.
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